Mr. Relentless

After a nice long weekend of no dating, I come back to work after a three day weekend to get confronted in my email box with some rather odd match emails.  One guy in particular who seemed to be having a rough holiday and felt that being relentless was the best strategy.  As I skimmed through all the emails that he sent (six to be exact in a 24 hour period) I began to question the sanity of this man.  Let me show you:

 

"Great smile"
he said
Yesterday

Title: WOW
"I have to admit, you are lovely, and smart(4years) how are you single?"
he said
Yesterday

Title: In awe
"I think Im in love, but fate has been cruel to me lol, you are going to make some guy incredibly happy, you are gold. Seriously, I would marry you. "
he said
Yesterday

Title: hi
"You should answer me. I used to live in new york and enjoy the golden state now, wouldnt go back for nothing. "
he said
19 hours ago

Title: a joke for you
"why didnt the chicken cross the road? didnt want to be sterotyped, ha, i know pretty bad. heh heh"
he said
17 hours ago


Title: good luck
"Ive decided to go out and look for my mate, im done with this and you, happy hunting. "
he said
17 hours ago"

Title: Unretired
"I got bored, how are you golden girl?"
24 hours later....

Looking for love that looks like my mom...

So, I came across this wonderful email from a prospective match for me.  It read:

"hey how are you im looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage and I hope you are to. If your interested in talking which I hope you are my cell if you want text me is 707-293-7XXX. Im interested in getting to know more about you. I might not be in the ideal situation right because I dont have a job or any money right now but the economy is in the toilet so im not the only person laid off im still making money on unemployment but im still going through a rough spot right now. Im looking for someone that can be there for me when I need them as I would do that for the person im with.  I'm really interested in world of war craft and am looking for someone who wants to play it with me so if your interested please let me know take care."

Please let me further decode this for you.... "hey, i'm looking for someone to supplement my unemployment check. if you are interested in helping me get a job, call my cell.  i would like to be a stay at home dad, drink beer, and watch Maury all day. i like Chinese take out, sitting on my ass, and i have a hairy gut.  i figure i have nothing to lose, so let me just be blunt when i say i have absolutely nothing to offer you."