Happy 2013! Since the holidays have just come and went and a new year has just arrived, I figured it would only be appropriate of me to share one of my most memorable new years eve stories to date. Now, I have had quite a few interesting New Years Eve's over the past decade: going to a gay and lesbian bar in the deep mission while having a tranny buy me drinks all night, or the one where I went to a big party in S.F and had a Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction while people took pictures, but this story, serves to be one of my favorites.
A few years ago, on New Years Eve day, I started my morning with a long run to make sure I fit in my dress for that night. As I was at a stop sign, jogging in place, I stepped down wrong on the uneven concrete, and rolled my ankle. Because only I could basically break my ankle while running in place, I immediately turned around and crawled back to my apartment as it started swelling. My roommate took me to the hospital for x-rays, and they put on a soft cast on my ankle and gave me crutches. Determined to not let it ruin my night, I still proceeded to go out that night, high heels and all of course.
After a nice dinner, my friend and I ended up in the marina at "cougar cafe". As I was waiting at the bar with my crutches to try and get a drink, I over heard this guy pulling out all the stops in his attempt to hit on some girl and her friend. After listening to what I thought were some pretty funny lines that the girls just weren't quite getting, I happened to interject to save his failing butt. I cant remember what I said, but I'm sure it was along the lines of wondering if there was a valet for my crutches, and if he would be willing to watch them while I got myself a drink. The guy realizing his jokes were a huge miss with the girls, turned away from them and started talking to me. We ended up talking for quite awhile and as it progressed closer and closer to midnight, he asked if I had a new years kiss, and if not, if i wanted to be his. Since he had been providing most of my drinks and entertainment for the night, I figured why the heck not. A few minutes to midnight, he said he had to go to the bathroom and would be right back. As I was finishing up my drink and looking around the bar, I saw some guy dressed up in a giant banana costume, like the kind those poor guys have to wear who work at jamba juice. Thinking who the hell would dress up on New Year's even in a banana suite, I noticed that giant banana was making their way towards me. In sheer panic, I realized this giant banana was the guy I had just promised to kiss at midnight. He comes over with an even dorkier smirk on his face claiming hes all ready. I ask him what the hell was going on, and why he decided to dress like a fruit, and not the good kind I am used to in San Fran, and he tells me it was part of a bet that he lost. As the count down begins, I realize since I am basically a gimp who cant get far without crutches, that I couldnt exactly run. I kept to my guns, and kissed the giant banana.
It may not have been the best kiss of my life, but it definitely was the most memorable one.
