After a summer hiatus of dating, I went on my first date again. This guy was trying to pursue me for months, but I kept brushing him off because he didn't live close. He ended up moving closer to SF and messaged me telling me so. I figured since I hadn't been dating anyone, I would give him a try. He tried to set up a date, and each time he did, he would end up
flaking on it. I was about ready to say forget it, when he finally
promised he would stick with the next date time planned.
He didn't live in the city, and showed up to my apartment on his bike (and by this I don't mean motorcycle). The minute he got into my apartment, he asked if he could take a shower. I looked at him and laughed, thinking that he was joking. He wasn't. I looked at him confused, thinking, who the hell would show up to a virtual strangers house, on a date, and ask to take a shower?? I begrudgingly got him a towel and showed him to our bathroom. For the first 20 minutes, I heard him take a call/meeting in my bathroom while I sat on my couch waiting for him. After about 30 minutes in there, he emerged. He asked if I had any beer, and when I said no, he said OK, lets go get something to eat instead. When we left my apartment, he instantly put his arm around me, and since I didn't follow suit, he grabbed my hand and put it around his waist and held it there so I couldn't let go. I was beyond creep-ed out by this. Not only was this guy already getting on my last nerves, I was really starting to think he was a weirdo. We picked a place to eat, and were sitting outside the restaurant waiting for a table to free up. There were a few odd comments he made that sparked mental red flags,
such as that he recently lived in the back of his car for a month so he
could surf every day, and hadn't really had a "real job" in a few years.
He also mentioned that he had gone to burning man eight times, one of
which was when he hopped the fence and ran across the desert for two
hours to get into it, but I tried to dismiss these comments and view him
as "quirky"since I was basically hard up for a date.
I then started telling him a story about something, when he ended up interrupting me mid-sentence saying he was just too hungry and couldn't concentrate. I told him he could go inside and see if we could get any snacks. He came back a few minutes later and told me he had ordered our dinner. As much as I found the other things slightly annoying, this seriously pissed me off. He just took it upon himself to go in and order what he wanted for us, which turned out to be an anchovies pizza. Who the hell who isn't my grandparents age orders that?!? I suffered through the rest of dinner, and we walked home. When we got home, I kept repeatedly saying how exhausted I was and wanted to go to sleep. He said he didn't have "night biking gear" and couldn't ride home in the dark. All I could think was then why the hell did you ride your bike to my house? I suggested he take my couch, and he replied that he didn't think he would fit on it, and then went and plopped down on my bed. I got in bed fully clothed and that's when he tried to make his move. His "move" consisted of baby talk and asking for "kisses" and trying to stab me with his tongue. I thought he was joking, and started laughing, and he actually looked confused. I told him we should just go to sleep. During the night, he kept waking up and asking if I was awake so he could tell me about his crazy dreams. One was about how he was eating a pastrami sandwich. By this point I was figuring this guy had done some major acid trips in the past. I kept wondering if I could fake a family emergence phone call to get him out of my house but couldn't come up with a good plan. Come 7am, I made up some excuse of where I had to go and hustled him out of my house.
Two days later, I received this series of texts from this gem:
Him (5:14pm) - "I just saw this sweatshirt and thought you would appreciate it. Its a rainbow sweatshirt, with a giant t-Rex on it and a Ferrari to scale. Hilarious right!?"
Me (5:18pm)- "are you high?"
Him (5:18pm) - "only on life"
Him (7:42pm) - "Apparently my roommate thought that sweatshirt was weird. What is wrong with you people..."
Him (8:02pm) - "I better just let our differences on the T-Rex Ferrari rainbow sweatshirt go. I guess you had to be there. How was your weekend?"
Him (9:15pm) - "I'm afraid there is too much of a separation in our goofiness. Too serious indeed. I bid you adieu. Live long and prosper"
Sometimes a dating hiatus really makes you appreciate a person when you go on a date with them. This date, only made me realize I came back into the game far too soon.
